I wanted to give praise to my daughter, Christi, my Sweetpea. While I was in Spain, she stepped up to the plate and helped out around the house. Christi cleaned, cooked and even created a monthly menu! I am so proud of her, she, however, did realize just how hard choosing and arranging meals can be on a piece of paper. She picked-up without being asked, even cleaned out the dishwasher AND reloaded it without so much as a peep from her father! Since I've been home I have sort of been wondering what has happened to my child, was she abducted, because most of the helped has ended?!? =)~
During this time my son and daughter had a home built and after some delays they are all moved in and ready to experience all the joys of being homeowners...OH, the joy and fun they will have!! Dahlia, their little girl, is adjusting to her very large backyard...wonder how long it will be before they decide to add to their little family, Dahlia needs a playmate ;)
All I can say is that I have the best kids a mom could ask for...I love you all!!
A mother holds her children's hands for a while...their hearts forever.
~~ Author Unknown
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
The Pros & Cons / The Good & Bad
I wanted to share my thoughts on the imaginary wall I built around myself, the pros & cons / the good & the bad...
I built it as a way of protecting myself from emotional pain, heartbreak, in general, all feelings and emotions. It was erected to keep everyone at arm's length to prevent them from hurting me with actions or words. I was not going to let myself get emotionally attached to anyone or anything...and I didn't! It was my own personal haven, my safe place but not a happy one!
Having that wall also did a great deal of harm, not just to me but to those around me, those that really did try help me, I pushed them away, some never returned and luckily for me, some did returned later in life and they are the most incredible people in my life today!
That wall prevented me from being happy, kept me from loving*, I was lonely, scared, there was no joy, only bitterness! The day that wall came crashing down on top of me, every emotion, every feeling, that I had kept suppressed, came to the surface and it roared loudly! I was a brave person with that wall, if you said anything to me that I considered mean or hurtful, I was going to fight back with words! Once again, I learned this from my Qualifiers, they used words (and actions) to hurt those around them, "A tongue has no bones, but it can break a heart..." (even a soul). After hurting others with my words, I immediately regretted it, I was ashamed of myself because I had just done to them what was done to me and I hated myself for that!!! Today, I'd like to say I have control of my emotions, my words, my thoughts, but I don't, however, they are better now than they were 6 months ago...I'm still a work in progress!!
On another subject, I was asked about the teasing; had I known why it started and sadly I did. It was because of the way I looked, the way I spoke and because I was short! My English, in the 2nd grade was not very good, okay it's still not perfect ;)~ My first language was Spanish, that is what was spoken in our home...learning the English language was difficult and when I did speak, it was very broken. I didn't like the names I was called so after some years of this I decided that I didn't want to be called or 'labeled' as a Mexican, I wanted to be an American, I was born in the US so why should I be called a Mexican?
*I love my children and have since the day they were born! I cannot fathom how some parents can't love their own children, my children are my world!!
"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again."
~~ Maya Angelou
I built it as a way of protecting myself from emotional pain, heartbreak, in general, all feelings and emotions. It was erected to keep everyone at arm's length to prevent them from hurting me with actions or words. I was not going to let myself get emotionally attached to anyone or anything...and I didn't! It was my own personal haven, my safe place but not a happy one!
Having that wall also did a great deal of harm, not just to me but to those around me, those that really did try help me, I pushed them away, some never returned and luckily for me, some did returned later in life and they are the most incredible people in my life today!
That wall prevented me from being happy, kept me from loving*, I was lonely, scared, there was no joy, only bitterness! The day that wall came crashing down on top of me, every emotion, every feeling, that I had kept suppressed, came to the surface and it roared loudly! I was a brave person with that wall, if you said anything to me that I considered mean or hurtful, I was going to fight back with words! Once again, I learned this from my Qualifiers, they used words (and actions) to hurt those around them, "A tongue has no bones, but it can break a heart..." (even a soul). After hurting others with my words, I immediately regretted it, I was ashamed of myself because I had just done to them what was done to me and I hated myself for that!!! Today, I'd like to say I have control of my emotions, my words, my thoughts, but I don't, however, they are better now than they were 6 months ago...I'm still a work in progress!!
On another subject, I was asked about the teasing; had I known why it started and sadly I did. It was because of the way I looked, the way I spoke and because I was short! My English, in the 2nd grade was not very good, okay it's still not perfect ;)~ My first language was Spanish, that is what was spoken in our home...learning the English language was difficult and when I did speak, it was very broken. I didn't like the names I was called so after some years of this I decided that I didn't want to be called or 'labeled' as a Mexican, I wanted to be an American, I was born in the US so why should I be called a Mexican?
*I love my children and have since the day they were born! I cannot fathom how some parents can't love their own children, my children are my world!!
"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again."
~~ Maya Angelou
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Monsters
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear that word? For me, it conjures up some bad memories from my childhood. My monster's were my Qualifier's (alcoholic's) in my life and they were mean and angry looking when they drank. Back then I thought alcohol was a very bad poison that made people do & say some really bad things, however, now I know that alcoholism is a very powerful disease, and one that I too struggle with from time to time. Shoot I learned from the "best" that drinking "helped" all your problems disappear...Ha-Ha!!
I do enjoy a drink or two but I have learned the hard way that sometimes stopping at two is difficult, 90% of the time I do okay, it's the other 10% that is hard especially when I think things are too tough for me to handle. I will learn another way to channel that urge to have 'just one more' drink!!
There were 5 kids in our home and Alcoholism and the affects of this drug, affected each of us very differently, which is something I still don't understand (maybe that's not for me to try and understand at this time).
Most of you knew all of Guerrero kids and some of you knew my brother Joe. I can't say for sure just how much that disease played a part but only three days after turning 21, he chose to take his life! My baby bother struggles with substance abuse, my other brother is a recovering alcoholic, I'm so very proud of him, he is a great father and husband! My sister, she seems to think everything is alright or maybe that's her way of coping? Then there's me, unlike my siblings, I have chosen not to have any communication with my Qualifier's, that is what I feel is best for me. There was a reason I closed the door on God as a child...I was taught to pray and everything would be alright but when I did pray and asked Him for help, He didn't seem to be listening, why else would he let them keep drinking, saying and doing the things they did?
I had to stop caring, stop wishing things would get better, I 'had' to do 'something', long before my brother took his life, I had also tried! Before the age of 15, I had attempted suicide 3 times and each time I woke up I viewed that as something else I couldn't do right (I was reminded of all the things I couldn't do well quite often). I did not want to be alive and not just because of things at home but things at school were not much different! Today, it's called BULLYING, back then it was teasing and teacher's/adult's really didn't know how to handle those situations, but 1 teacher did try and help me, my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Maxwell! Second grade, that's when the 'teasing' started...I can remember being locked in lockers, shoved in trashcans (they were tall and slender back then) and rolled down the hall, I was thrown in the boys bathroom and called all sorts of names, some even followed me all the way to HS. I HATED being at home and at school, the only place I felt safe was outside, maybe that's why I like to walk?!
I built a wall around me at a young age and I never let anyone get too close, I was NOT going to let anyone hurt me again, but that wall also worked against me. It kept a lot of good people out!!
I thought as an adult I could handle anything, I was so wrong, AGAIN!! I was attacked both physically and verbally by another adult and I did nothing to stop her! Not because I didn't know how to but because this person made me feel like that little girl all over again, the memories of my childhood were all I could think of as she hurled insults my way!!
There is a great deal I have chosen not to divulge because I am still coming to terms with some of these events, there are memories I have blocked out until something happens that reminds me, that's when I go for a walk or hit the punching bag, cook, bake anything else but think!
Now that I spilled most of my guts out for all to read, I am reminded of a question that was asked of me on the Camino...
Am I concerned that my Qualifier's will read this and cause them harm or pain? NO! The pain, the harm, the damage has/was already done.
The Camino gave me many wonderful memories but most importantly, that walk, The Way, it gave me the courage to re-open that door I slammed shut, courage to tell my story, no more hiding and running away!!!
I do enjoy a drink or two but I have learned the hard way that sometimes stopping at two is difficult, 90% of the time I do okay, it's the other 10% that is hard especially when I think things are too tough for me to handle. I will learn another way to channel that urge to have 'just one more' drink!!
There were 5 kids in our home and Alcoholism and the affects of this drug, affected each of us very differently, which is something I still don't understand (maybe that's not for me to try and understand at this time).
Most of you knew all of Guerrero kids and some of you knew my brother Joe. I can't say for sure just how much that disease played a part but only three days after turning 21, he chose to take his life! My baby bother struggles with substance abuse, my other brother is a recovering alcoholic, I'm so very proud of him, he is a great father and husband! My sister, she seems to think everything is alright or maybe that's her way of coping? Then there's me, unlike my siblings, I have chosen not to have any communication with my Qualifier's, that is what I feel is best for me. There was a reason I closed the door on God as a child...I was taught to pray and everything would be alright but when I did pray and asked Him for help, He didn't seem to be listening, why else would he let them keep drinking, saying and doing the things they did?
I had to stop caring, stop wishing things would get better, I 'had' to do 'something', long before my brother took his life, I had also tried! Before the age of 15, I had attempted suicide 3 times and each time I woke up I viewed that as something else I couldn't do right (I was reminded of all the things I couldn't do well quite often). I did not want to be alive and not just because of things at home but things at school were not much different! Today, it's called BULLYING, back then it was teasing and teacher's/adult's really didn't know how to handle those situations, but 1 teacher did try and help me, my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Maxwell! Second grade, that's when the 'teasing' started...I can remember being locked in lockers, shoved in trashcans (they were tall and slender back then) and rolled down the hall, I was thrown in the boys bathroom and called all sorts of names, some even followed me all the way to HS. I HATED being at home and at school, the only place I felt safe was outside, maybe that's why I like to walk?!
I built a wall around me at a young age and I never let anyone get too close, I was NOT going to let anyone hurt me again, but that wall also worked against me. It kept a lot of good people out!!
I thought as an adult I could handle anything, I was so wrong, AGAIN!! I was attacked both physically and verbally by another adult and I did nothing to stop her! Not because I didn't know how to but because this person made me feel like that little girl all over again, the memories of my childhood were all I could think of as she hurled insults my way!!
There is a great deal I have chosen not to divulge because I am still coming to terms with some of these events, there are memories I have blocked out until something happens that reminds me, that's when I go for a walk or hit the punching bag, cook, bake anything else but think!
Now that I spilled most of my guts out for all to read, I am reminded of a question that was asked of me on the Camino...
Am I concerned that my Qualifier's will read this and cause them harm or pain? NO! The pain, the harm, the damage has/was already done.
The Camino gave me many wonderful memories but most importantly, that walk, The Way, it gave me the courage to re-open that door I slammed shut, courage to tell my story, no more hiding and running away!!!
Friday, September 7, 2012
Choices...
On the eighth day, Audrey and I (Anthony liked sleeping in and usually caught up with us later) rose early because we had a long day ahead of us...from Logroño to Nájera it was a 30.6 km walk. Audrey needed to stop for coffee and I chose to continue walking alone once again, I hadn't realized how much I missed the peace & quiet, a time to reflect or not even think at all, just walk. As I passed, and I'm sure I'll continue to pass, little villages that almost seem deserted, buildings/homes that have been boarded up or just left vacant. The economy in Spain appears to be taking its toll or maybe it's the youth that have chosen to leave the small village for the bigger cities??
The walk to Nájera was relatively easy, not much climbing or descending :) and my knee fared fairly well, however, I couldn't seem to control the swelling.
By know you begin to establish a routine...after you find an Albergue and are assigned a bed, you quickly shower, than it's time to wash your clothes and hang it to dry. Everyone always hopes their clothes is there when you return from lunch/dinner. One evening, my own shorts grew legs and walked off, a couple of hours later they reappeared and after that, I made sure I stopped to eat before I found a bed for the night!
Next, we headed to Santo Domingo and again a pleasant walk, I am finding that I'm losing track of days and what I've seen and where...one mountain begins to look like another as well as all the villages. I've taking pictures and hope that I will be able to describe my surroundings. On this day, we didn't see Anthony until late in the evening, noticed he was limping badly. He had injured himself and had to take it really slow! Due to his job, he only had 10 days to get to Burgos, but decided to call it quits and take the next bus to Burgos, than head back to England.
Fast forward to day eleven-Belorado to Juan De Ortega, a 26.8 km walk but we decided to walk an extra 6 km because we had heard stories about the Albergue in Juan De Ortega and they were not good (the following day, we heard from those that did stay...they wished they had walked further too). We stayed in a Albergue called El Peregrino, the rooms were semi-private and the village was peaceful...UNTIL the lights were turned off...in one of the rooms, someone was snoring like a freight train!! Even with ear plugs you could hear this person, don't know who it was and I don't think anyone got much sleep that evening!!
Next stop was Burgos...this walk was a difficult one but not because it was mountainous but because the foot path was 95% on black asphalt, which then takes you into the city of Burgos! I walked alone again and did a great deal of thinking and I also did something else I hadn't done for myself since I was a little girl...I prayed, not for anyone else but for me, it was then that I realized I was crying, not a sobbing cry but a calming, almost soothing cry (is there such a thing, I don't know, but that's how I felt)!! I asked Him for forgiveness for shutting the door on Him and asked for guidance and by the time I arrived in Burgos, I knew what I had to do and that was to return home.
I don't think I'm a quitter nor do I feel like I threw in the towel, there were other things that weighed heavily on my mind. One being my knee and the swelling and I just couldn't see myself taking pill after pill to try and control it, second, is a blister that would not heal no matter what I did, it only grew bigger and more painful! The third and most important reason for my decision was my family. I came here so that I could begin to heal and in order for me to heal completely, I need my spouse and my kids!! :) OH! And of course my good friends! :)
I may not have been dealt a good hand growing up and it was not always a pleasant environment to be in but it made me who I am today, I broke the cycle and was able to give my kids the life I always wanted, a happy, loving home! We have had rough times, what family doesn't, but it was always a home full of love!!! I still have my work cut out for me, I must learn to believe in myself, to like myself...Things will not always be easy, but at least now I have a very powerful tool by my side...God, He was just waiting for me to re-open the door!!
During my time in Spain I was asked what my nationality was, it was quite funny at times...I was asked if I was from Portuguese, Guatemala, Brazil and other Latin countries, no one ever guessed the 'Good Ole' US of A'...Some what funny because I have been trying to figure that out myself for sometime :D
The walk to Nájera was relatively easy, not much climbing or descending :) and my knee fared fairly well, however, I couldn't seem to control the swelling.
By know you begin to establish a routine...after you find an Albergue and are assigned a bed, you quickly shower, than it's time to wash your clothes and hang it to dry. Everyone always hopes their clothes is there when you return from lunch/dinner. One evening, my own shorts grew legs and walked off, a couple of hours later they reappeared and after that, I made sure I stopped to eat before I found a bed for the night!
Next, we headed to Santo Domingo and again a pleasant walk, I am finding that I'm losing track of days and what I've seen and where...one mountain begins to look like another as well as all the villages. I've taking pictures and hope that I will be able to describe my surroundings. On this day, we didn't see Anthony until late in the evening, noticed he was limping badly. He had injured himself and had to take it really slow! Due to his job, he only had 10 days to get to Burgos, but decided to call it quits and take the next bus to Burgos, than head back to England.
Fast forward to day eleven-Belorado to Juan De Ortega, a 26.8 km walk but we decided to walk an extra 6 km because we had heard stories about the Albergue in Juan De Ortega and they were not good (the following day, we heard from those that did stay...they wished they had walked further too). We stayed in a Albergue called El Peregrino, the rooms were semi-private and the village was peaceful...UNTIL the lights were turned off...in one of the rooms, someone was snoring like a freight train!! Even with ear plugs you could hear this person, don't know who it was and I don't think anyone got much sleep that evening!!
Next stop was Burgos...this walk was a difficult one but not because it was mountainous but because the foot path was 95% on black asphalt, which then takes you into the city of Burgos! I walked alone again and did a great deal of thinking and I also did something else I hadn't done for myself since I was a little girl...I prayed, not for anyone else but for me, it was then that I realized I was crying, not a sobbing cry but a calming, almost soothing cry (is there such a thing, I don't know, but that's how I felt)!! I asked Him for forgiveness for shutting the door on Him and asked for guidance and by the time I arrived in Burgos, I knew what I had to do and that was to return home.
I don't think I'm a quitter nor do I feel like I threw in the towel, there were other things that weighed heavily on my mind. One being my knee and the swelling and I just couldn't see myself taking pill after pill to try and control it, second, is a blister that would not heal no matter what I did, it only grew bigger and more painful! The third and most important reason for my decision was my family. I came here so that I could begin to heal and in order for me to heal completely, I need my spouse and my kids!! :) OH! And of course my good friends! :)
I may not have been dealt a good hand growing up and it was not always a pleasant environment to be in but it made me who I am today, I broke the cycle and was able to give my kids the life I always wanted, a happy, loving home! We have had rough times, what family doesn't, but it was always a home full of love!!! I still have my work cut out for me, I must learn to believe in myself, to like myself...Things will not always be easy, but at least now I have a very powerful tool by my side...God, He was just waiting for me to re-open the door!!
During my time in Spain I was asked what my nationality was, it was quite funny at times...I was asked if I was from Portuguese, Guatemala, Brazil and other Latin countries, no one ever guessed the 'Good Ole' US of A'...Some what funny because I have been trying to figure that out myself for sometime :D
Monday, September 3, 2012
Where to begin..
Trying to find a quiet place to think is nearly impossible...Since the last time I wrote a many things have happened. During our stay in Logroño, we met a couple who had done the walk about 10 yrs ago, we chatted for a bit, took pictures and they left...we finished our drinks, asked for our tab but learned that it had already been taken care of by the very couple we were talking too...made our night!!!
Since that days the three of us parted ways, each to walk and find our own way. For three days I have been walking alone and in the evenings we seem to meet up again, that makes the evennigs nice.
I have been some what dissapointed with some of the local have been quite rude, they do not seem to care about their jobs or the pilgrims. Finding that the pilgrims are very much kinder to one another than the locals.
The food has also been a let down, which is something I looked forward to it but once again I have been disapointed.
I have met some really interesting people these last few days, each with their own story and I'm sure we only tell each other a small portion of our stories.
My knee felt good today but I must admit, I wanted to give up on Saturday, the pain was terrible.
Well, now for some of my own thoughts these last few days and this is going to be tough for me...today I cried most of the way, not because I was in pain but because I want to stop walking! In my first entry I wrote that I had personal reasons for walking the Camino...my reasons for taking this journey was not to walk, it was to run & hide from the life I knew...you see when things got tough I ran and hid, that's all I knew, growing up, the minute I heard a beer bottle or a liquor bottle open, I knew it was time to run and hide! Today I cried because I am tired of running and hiding when things get tough, I need to face up to all of lifes struggles, no matter how tough!! I will be honest, I was coming to Spain to hide, I was running away from all my problems and I wasn't going to return! I am tired of running and I want to go home to my loving husband, who knew what I was doing but still let me go not knowing what I would ultimatly do...I do know what I want and that's to be home, in his loving arms and to be there for my kids, to help plan my daughters wedding! That's where I belong, not here....
If you think I am a quitter, that's fine...I am tired of running...
Sorry for the rambling but I know where I belong now and who really loves me...
I love you David Harrell, with all my heart!!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Happy Reunion & Good Walk
Today's walk seemed rather easy which makes me wonder if it's due to determinaton, strength, or just merely the fact that I have become accustomed to 'long walks'? The first day had to have been a test, Audrey, the stronger walker of the group, walked for 10 hrs. & a little over 30km in the rain...we didn't quit!! We both figured that if we finished the very first day, we can do anything....thank goodness we ditched the Spainard man! :) There is so much I would like to say about this man but it would not be nice, I'll just bite my tongue and hope that he does not say anything else to me or Audrey.
Alright, enough of that ;)
Today, Audrey and I got a pleasant surprise, Anthony rejoined us, we all hugged and laughed because it was like seeing a family member that you didn't want to lose track of...it was good to know he felt much better than the last time we saw him 2 days ago...Anthony brings much laughter to our little group, and that helps make the walk a tad easier!! The two say I'm the dominant one, the mother figure that takes care of the pack, things never change I guess. :p
Tomorrow will be a long day, we have a 30km day, from Logroño to Nájera....wine country...hehehe I suppose all of Spain is considered wine country. :D
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Sorry but I forgot the most important thing about this walk, when I first decided to do this walk, I had, what I thought, was the reason for me being here, I was wrong. On the 4th day I realized why I was here and I can't wait to share this with my husband when I return home. If the reason I thought I was here happens...what an added bonus!!
I miss you David and love yoy very much, Christi, I can't wait to go wedding dress shopping with you when I return. Drew & Kim, I missyou guys and the progress of your nee home, send pics please!!
Everything is wonderful :))
The last 6 Days
I will begin with today since it is fresh in my memory. Began walking at 6 this morning, still dark so we had to pay attention to the Camino markers or we would get lost. Audrey & I met Anthony (England) on the second day. He is a nice young man.
Today was a very good day, especially for my knee, it was mostly flat! I was very happy, so was my knee :)
I walked alone for the first time since arriving and it was much needed, I didn't have to translate or try to figure out what language others where talking to me, I was at peace and very relaxed. Made it to Los Arcos at 11:30! found a great place for breackfast/lunch, called Pandaria, Buen Camino. The owner was nice and offered to make bacon & eggs, what a welcomed meal...even had a Coke Light :) felt like home.
I chose to leave Los Arcos and make the 2 hour walk to Torres, so glad I did, found Very nice hotel/hostel. I chose to treat myself to a private room and once again, I am glad I did, the room and people are lovely! I recommend it to all on the Camino.
My only reget was not being able to take a picture of me in front of the wine/water fountain....I arrived too early, it opens at 9am, I arrived at 8 :/ but thats okay!
Now I will go back to the first day, where I met Audery, (from Scotland) leaving St. Jean Pied de Port to Roncesvalles was a very brutal walk, didn't help that we got lost...we walked for 10 hrs (30km) more than we should have, all because the Spainard gentleman we were with was stubburn, we left him behind the next day and have done great ever since. :)
Our walks since then have been uneventful but hard, and good. We have stayed in some very nice & clean hostels, until last night...Audrey and I where put in a broom closet, at least it was private. ;)
Audrey & I said good bye to Anthony on the 5th day, he wasn't feeling well, we all hook back up tomorrow...funny how you miss people yoy just met along The Way.
I have not been impressed with the pilgrim menu, too much bread and all late meals. Had my first taste of paella, not impressed at all...I like mine better ;)
Today I looked at my feet for the first time and I noticed 2 blisters, that I didn't notice nor did I feel them...the owner of the albergue said I must be "tough as nails" :) they were big....hehehe
My final thoughts...I have been told by many that my pack is too heavy for a person my size....I've made it this far with it way change ;)~ all joking aside, I see my pack as the burden I have carried most of my adult life and in Santiago de Compostela, I will shed every burden, making my 'pack' lighter! Lets hope I can make it to Santiago. :))
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
The day has arrived
I remember the day I announced my plans for walking the El Camino and the "Ah, ok?" reaction from my family & friends and thinking that this day would never arrive. My husband said I would have to prove to him that I could walk with a pack on my back for most of the day, I saw this as challenge! I have experienced and been through some challenging times in my life and if any of you really know me you know that I like to prove people wrong, not to make them feel bad, but to show them I have what it takes...then it hit me, like a ton of bricks, I have known I can do anything I set my mind too and the only people I was trying to convince are the two people that really never seemed to care...my (alcoholic) parents.
After training and walking so many miles, I realized that I needed to do this walk for ME and me ALONE, not for other people! I pushed myself so hard preparing for this walk that I needed to purchase another pair of hiking boots. ;) But with every step I took, and the ones I have yet to take, it IS my way of letting them (parents) go, to remove myself from the years of pain so that I might live a healthier life and be a better person to my family and friends.
Thank you to my family and the countless friends, with of your encouragement, love and support, I know I will make all 790km, my feet may not think so at times, but my heart, mind and soul will get me through the difficult days.
After training and walking so many miles, I realized that I needed to do this walk for ME and me ALONE, not for other people! I pushed myself so hard preparing for this walk that I needed to purchase another pair of hiking boots. ;) But with every step I took, and the ones I have yet to take, it IS my way of letting them (parents) go, to remove myself from the years of pain so that I might live a healthier life and be a better person to my family and friends.
Thank you to my family and the countless friends, with of your encouragement, love and support, I know I will make all 790km, my feet may not think so at times, but my heart, mind and soul will get me through the difficult days.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
One week remaining
Most of my fears, regarding Paris and making my way down to
St. Jean Pied de Port, have all but disappeared, only anxiety remains. I do
believe, that once I begin walking everything I worried about, will fade and I
will be able to think about what drew me to take this journey on the El Camino. I’ll have 35 days of doing nothing but
thinking, letting go of the negative from my past and leaving it all along The
Way…Oh and of course walking. ;)
My pack has been packed, unpacked, items removed then repacked
and I wonder if I’m forgetting something or if I have too much and end up leaving
some items in SJPdP.
I cannot wait for August 25th to get here, this
will be the start of a ‘new’ beginning and a healthier me…
“Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished” ~~ Paulo Coelho
“Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished” ~~ Paulo Coelho
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Not much longer now before I begin The Camino, feeling somewhat excited as well as nervous about this journey, the next step to
healing the inner me…
On several occasions, I have been asked things like “Why are you
doing this” and “Why do you have to go so far away”, I cannot explain to
anyone, with great detail, the reason I need to accomplish such a feat,
however, I can tell you the reason for going ‘across the pond’ that’s
easy. I need to be somewhere where no
one knows me, where I can feel what I want without anyone telling me how I
should feel, what I should think, where I can cry freely without being asked
what is wrong because believe me, that’s a long list.
“When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to
arrive.”
― Paulo Coelho
Monday, July 23, 2012
One month out...
I will start by saying that the following are my own thoughts and experiences. I do not claim to be a writer, so I will apologize now for the potentially bad grammar and or spelling. :)
I created this Blog for my family & friends, as well as for myself, as both a journal and great way to remember my experiences along The Camino de Santiago. My adventure will begin on August 22, 2012 with the actual walk beginning Aug. 25th, after a couple of days of rest.
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| That's 790 km |
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